Coconut Bras and Pinocchios
by wonderlqnd
Summary: When one of Jack's oh so glorious pranks go wrong, and Merida comes up with a brilliant incantation, that kind of ruins Jack, will he somehow make use of this spell that only allows him to speak the truth?


**Coconut Bras and Pinocchios**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything yeap

~Merida's POV~

Giggles erupted around her as soon as the strange green haze lifted off her, Jack's guffaw being the particular loudest, he probably was giving himself a pat on the back internally she mused. Delicately lifting up a strand of ridiculously thick curly hair, she let out a very undignified, dare she say it, scream. Clad in a scanty looking coconut bra and with bright pink hair was his one way ticket to hell. He was going to get it, right up his skinny pale arse.

She whipped out with sheer elegance, not to miss out on some self compliments, her wand and recited her newly learnt incantation, completely prepared to throttle the white haired idiot.

"Laceri exponara!" and with a resounding pop sound, there stood the slytherin in a Pinocchio ensemble, complete with a very distinguishable nose.

"Merida!"

~Jack's POV~

Yeap, definitely a good choice, coconut bras suited her, no matter how ridiculous it looked. And that bright pink! Flabbergasting! As Merida stood there clad in that bra (great job, Jack) and fuming, he admired the toned middle she had curtesy of Quidditch and while she wasn't as slim as Rapunzel, her athletic shape suited her. He was a hormonal male teenager with eyes, sue him.

But watching the other males roam their eyes all over her, Snotlout's in particular, he felt a twinge of jealousy bubble inside him, and he wasn't really sure why exactly.

However, what he was not expecting was for her to retaliate, I mean sure she would be mad and maybe fire some spell but this? Dressed in such hideous garb? No, he did not do red, blue, yellow and white in a single outfit. He looked like a walking national flag for Christ's sake!

"Oh and Jack," she sang in a teasingly evil voice, "that spell only lets you tell the truth" and with a venomous cackle, okay maybe not, she waltzed away, bright pink bushfire swaying behind her. This clearly was not his day.

Sweet Salazar his prank was not exactly going the way he planned and what else wa- OH MERLIN this meant he could no longer pull pranks or skip class. Everyone knew Pinocchio's story, his nose grew longer with every lie and shortened with a truth, he was digging his own grave. Merida certainly won this by a landslide. Who would've thought that she could outprank the prank king?

~later~

Godric, this was like hell, all the Slytherins had somehow gotten down to the fact that Merida had put a spell on him and they knew well and how to use it to their advantage. Slytherins being Slytherins and what not, with the occasional question from a curious hufflepuff or Griffindor wanting some revenge for some surely glorious prank he had pulled.

"Was it you who set fireworks in Professor Lorax's class?"

"Did you really cast a rainbow charm on Professor Bunnymund?"

"Were you responsible for dying Snotlout's hair blonde?"

"Are you wearing boxers now?"

The list went on. Pretty soon He decided that the quickest way to get out of his ordeal was, without a doubt, to swallow his pride and kiss Merida's boots.

Merida's POV

Honestly, Jack should have known not to mess with her, and at the rate his dignity was decreasing, this was probably by far one of her best reaction pranks. A pinocchio spell! Who would've thought? Giving herself a smug grin, she skipped into the Griffindor common room, only to find Jack lounging on the couch, stopping her dead in her tracks.

"Merida!" He jumped up from his relatively comfortable position and braced himself for whatever spell she was going to hurl at him.

"Jack? Let me guess, some adoring first year no doubt?" She smiled despite herself, Jack always wheedled his way into anywhere and as much as he was an annoying nuisance, he certainly was one of her best friends and they had a strong bond or as Rapunzel occasionally put it, "sexual tension".

He laughed, before grinning even bigger (if it was possible), "Mer, you know me too well, and not to mention, that outfit I gave you made me want to gauge my eyes out," and burst into chuckles again.

Jack's POV

A short gasp stopped his laughter and he saw tears fill her cerulean blue eyes and she swiftly ran up the steps leading to the girls' rooms with a choked sob.

"Merida! Wait I-"

"Am I really that ugly, Jack? Such that you'd gauge your eyes out? I'm not as pretty as someone like Rapunzel, or smart like Hiccup, sly like Eugene, but Jack, really? I may not be the most feminine of girls but I have feelings too, an-and that really c-cut deep Jack" Her saddened voice sounded from the steps.

And in that moment of vulnerability, Jack felt his little heart break with the brashness of his words and how much it had affected her. She wasn't even ugly, with her vermillion gorgeous hair that was the source of majority of his teasing, her blue, blue eyes that always reminded him of the endless sea that was so limitless, so free. The way she'd smile at his jests, the crinkle of her eyes and the upturn of her lips, the way she'd get angry at him that made her hair gain volume and the atmosphere around her always seemed to crackle with her magic. All these little quirks that made up Merida Dunbroch.

"Merida you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

She quirked an eyebrow and stared at him, waiting for an explanation.

"I'd rather snog Aster" An eye roll later, his wooden nose extended.

"Look Merida, I know that I hurt you pretty bad," she snorted, "but i'm telling the -heaven forbid- truth. You really are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, and I don't want anyone to ever beat your wonderful spirit down, because you are beautiful, there really are no other words Merida, I swear" A hint of a smile graced her lips and she sat down on the couch near him.

"I-I love all the little things you do, Merida. I love the way freckles dot your cheeks, I love how your hair is so bushy and how there are all these various shades of oranges and red that reminds me so much of a burning fire, a-and for once you should know I'm telling the truth because of that god forbidden spell you cast. I love how you drink your tea with three cubes of sugar and your coffee with two, I love how you hate caramel sweets and love liquorice, how your neck turns red when you blush, how your favourite book isn't The Hunger Games like everyone thinks and is in fact Tuck Everlasting, I love how you tilt your head to the left and twitch your nose when you're confused, how you bite your lip when you're excited and jump and dance when you're happy. I love how you go with Rapunzel on all those shopping trips although you hate shopping, I love how you sometimes spend free time tutoring Vanellope in charms, I love how you don't mind when everyone says you're one of the boys, I love how you retaliate to everything I say, I really don't know what to say about you, Merida."

"No words can describe you Mer'. You're beautiful. You're fearless, an-and as much as I would hate to admit it, but with this spell I guess I have to, all these things are w-what I love about you"

By now, his heart was hammering in his chest and his breath hitched in his throat. There was a long silence, something neither of them was really used to.

"Jack," she started out, "no-nobody's ever said that to me and uhm Jack I really, uhm, well I'll have to trust that my spell is working fine and whatnot. Thanks, Jack it really meant something to me. "

She waved her wand, which he didn't even know was present, and he felt a significant difference; she had removed the spell. She smiled and the firelight illuminated the generous features of her face and a single tear slid down her cheek. His chest heaved and he caught his breath.

He wasn't really sure what compelled him to do what he did next, the smile on her face, or that moment he felt so happy, he really didn't know why he suddenly decided to no longer give a heck to whatever bodily damage she'd inflict in him later, but there he suddenly was, kissing her.

At first she didn't respond and he began to panic but then again, she didn't push him away and jump on his head multiple times so he guessed it was a good sign. And pretty soon, lo and behold, Merida Dunbroch began kissing him back. And the feeling, he swore, was simply wonderful.

By the time they'd stopped for air, he breathed heavily, and rested his forehead against hers.

"Geez Mer', I didn't know you had that in you."

"You are such an ass"

"Well Merida! Naughty, it's ever so comforting to know you stare at my glorious ass, I'm flattered really," he batted his mock eyelashes.

She laughed as she punched his arm lightly, earning an exclamation in response, before leaning her head against his shoulder, breathing his scent in.

"Mint and freshly fallen snow," he heard her murmur, and despite himself, he smiled and leaned his head in hers.

Before long, both had fallen asleep with the low hum of the fire and the chiming of the grandfather clock.

And this is how the Griffindors came back to their common room only to find Jack and Merida huddled together, smiles on their faces.

A chorus of "I told you so, now hand over the money" and "damn it"s rang through the relatively quiet corridors of Hogwarts.

And to be honest, Hogwarts truly does have many surprises.

-end-

I find the lack of Jarida (whoop) stories disturbing so I decided that I should contribute to our little community of unicorns hehe sorry if reading this was an eyesore.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

-Lola


End file.
